Sonja Lekovic / Stocksy
Oral sex can seem baffling if you think about it when you're not turned on. You're supposed to put your mouth where? And you would want someone's face in your most private spot why? But in the moment, when you're with someone you're into, oral sex can seem like a more genius invention than the lightbulb. The only annoying part is when you're having sex with a guy and certain blow j*b myths get in the way of both of you enjoying the act as much as possible. Here, 13 blow j*b myths you should stop believing, stat.
1. Myth: You should swallow even if you're not a fan.
Unlike green smoothies, sem*n is not some nutrient-rich elixir. When you treat someone to a mouth-induced org*sm, they don't get to judge what you do after the fact. Spit, swallow, move out of the way so it doesn't get in your hair, whatever. As long as you're not like, "Ew, this is disgusting, you're a beast," there shouldn't be any complaints.
2. Myth: All men are obsessed with blowies, so if a dude doesn't want one, he hates you.
There are so many reasons a guy may not be up for a blow j*b. Just like some women love receiving oral sex and others prefer different forms of cl*toral entertainment, he might be into a different kind of foreplay. Or he could be saving you from encountering his sweaty post-workout package. Or maybe he wants to talk about his feelings instead of having sex. Point is, it doesn't automatically mean he doesn't like you or thinks your blow j*bs are awful.
3. Myth: Deep throating is the key to an excellent BJ.
If you can deep throat without issue, go for it. It's an awesome skill that you unfortunately can't list on your résumé, so use it when you can. But you can also give a stellar blow j*b without the head of a penis provoking your gag reflex.
4. Myth: There's basically only one blow j*b position.
Actually, there's a whole wide world of oral sex positions out there beyond you kneeling in front of him. You can try 69, lying next to him, your head hanging off the bed, lying down while he kneels on top of you, and so much more.
5. Myth: A blow j*b isn't "real sex."
For some women, getting face-to-face with a penis is more intimate than having PIV sex. And even if you're not one of them, you can definitely still get sexually transmitted infections from giving a blow j*b because you're exchanging bodily fluids (and you can also get STIs like herpes and HPV from skin-to-skin contact).
6. Myth: It's normal for guys to push your head down.
Great if it turns you on. But if it makes you feel weird, ask him to stop. blow j*bs should be good for both people, not just the one receiving them.
7. Myth: If your teeth touch his penis, it'll fall off.
The world won't end because you experience a little teeth-penis contact. As long as you're not scraping them up and down his shaft throughout, it's probably not an issue. Depending on the guy, he might even like it! But definitely ask before doing it intentionally.
8. Myth: You always have to perform a blow j*b to completion.
You could. Or you could trade off, so he goes down on you for a bit, then you continue giving him a blow j*b after. Or you could stop before he comes and have sex until he org*sms. Or you could break up intercourse with some bouts of oral sex. The end goal doesn't always have to be org*sm.
9. Myth: Your mouth can always provide enough spit to make the act enjoyable.
Cotton mouth happens. Luckily, flavored lube exists! Just be sure to use a type that's compatible with condoms if they're a part of your sex routine, and also check that it's safe for intercourse if you plan on doing that after.
10. Myth: If your BJ skills are up to par, it should be over in a few minutes.
So many factors can influence how much time it takes a guy to org*sm: when he most recently came, what he's thinking about, whether he's holding out because he wants it to last longer...
11. Myth: You need blow-job sorcery for uncircumcised penises.
An uncircumcised penis is still sheathed in its foreskin, which covers the head. A circumcised penis no longer has a foreskin, so the head is exposed. That's the only difference—they're both still penises, and guys still like it when you touch them.
Yes, the two types sometimes require different kinds of stimulation, since uncircumcised penises often have more sensitive heads and there's more skin to play with. But if you're used to one kind of penis and encounter another, don't freak out. Just ask the guy what he likes! You have his penis in your hands. He probably won't mind if you ask exactly how he'd prefer for you to handle it.
12. Myth: If you give your mouth a break, you have to start from the beginning.
If he's right on the brink of org*sm and you call a time out, yes, you'll probably have to put in some extra work to get him back to the point of no return. But if you feel like your jaw's seizing up, give it a rest. You can use your hands to keep the good feelings going.
13. Myth: You have to love giving blow j*bs in order to be sexy.
You know that whole idea of how nothing's hotter than a woman who loves giving blow j*bs so much, she can practically org*sm from them? False. Enthusiasm is always attractive, but you don't have to worship at the blow j*b altar to be attractive yourself.
